WAITER, THIS SOUP IS GARBAGE!
IT’S CALLED CARDAMOM. LOOK IT UP. THIS SOUP IS BEGGING FOR IT.
THIS SOUP IS ALL LIKE, “OH PRETTY PLEASE, MISTER, CAN I JUST GET A LITTLE CARDAMOM? PLEASE? I’LL DO ANYTHING.”
YOU EVER HEARD OF A LIME WEDGE?
YEAH, IT’S CALLED ACID BALANCE, HOSER.
I’D COMMIT HEINOUS CRIMES FOR SOME CARDAMOM RIGHT NOW.
I’D SUFFER A HEINOUS CRIME JUST TO GET A WEDGE OF LIME!
YOU’RE KILLING US, MAN!
I’M LITERALLY DYING OVER HERE!
JUST LIKE THIS SOUP IS DYING FROM THE LACK OF A NUANCED TOUCH.
… GUYS, THAT’S MY COUSIN AND HE’S THE WAITER, NOT THE SOUS CHEF. CHILL OUT.
SPEAKING OF CHILLING OUT DID YOU PUT THIS IN THE FRIDGE BEFORE YOU SERVED IT?
OOOOOOOH, BURN! WHICH IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT THIS SOUP WILL GIVE YOU!
(via apiphile)
